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31May

Put Love 1st

Posted by: R. Mordant Mahon Categories: Blog Dating Relationships
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Put love first.  When you concentrate on your job, you succeed.  When you invest time learning about a career skill, your favorite sports team, even more about your friends, you become an expert in those fields.  What about the Arena of Love?  Don’t you think you should spend more time and effort in that area?  You do want a fabulous love life…don’t you?  When it comes to your relationship, are you the student, reluctant to crack your textbooks…or the connoisseur?

It’s no secret, your relationship is not something you can set & forget, just “wishing” for the best.  You have to do something about it, growing the intimacy in your life…even when you’re not in the mood.  I’m not saying you should look at this like work.  Love isn’t a chore…though sometimes it may feel that way.  Have fun with cultivating deeper intimacy in your life.  Treat it like a new fascination, looking for opportunities to get back to romantic playtime.  The feelings will follow, especially when you and your partner begin to turn up the steam.

When you put love first, you concentrate on it, you focus on it.  You’re putting God and the Universe, as well as yourself and your partner on notice that you’re serious about having intimacy in your life.  Begin doting on your relationship as you would a favorite hobby.  Have a weekly Date Night, where you and your mate get back to your romantic roots.  Read up on the latest regarding intimacy, relationships, and—yummy—sex!  Create a Dream Board with your partner, pasting pictures of what you want your relationship to look like on a board suitable for framing.  Do whatever voodoo you need do, but…

Put—Love—First!

R. Mordant Mahon

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28May

Call Me Mordant

Posted by: R. Mordant Mahon Categories: Blog Mordant World
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There’s been some confusion of late, as to what you should call me. You’ve seen or heard me throw out the names “Mordant,” and “Raphael,” and “Riki”—and perhaps a couple others tossed here and there into the mix. What’s up with that?! What should you call me and where do all these names come from anyway? I’m a little public for the Witness Protection Program, so it’s not that. Probably. Perhaps I’m just eccentric (read: weird), and like the thought of a ton of pseudonyms. You know…having so many people in my head that I don’t ever feel alone. But, that would be just a little too whack-a-doodle, don’t you think? The voices in my head agree with me, so it must be true.

I was adopted at birth and given the name Ronald Richard Robinson. My family goes by their middle names, and that’s where Riki comes in—from Richard. (Much better than the other nickname I could have gotten from Richard, believe you me.) It’s always been Riki and it’s always been spelled the way it is. In my teens, I tried to shorten it to Rik, but my mother said, “No! You’re name’s Riki.” And so, Riki it is.

Until I became a Tortuga Twin.

In 1987, I co-founded a comedy troupe. Known mostly as a trio (there are currently six of us on the roster), but back then we were a duo. We were portraying twin gypsy brothers looking for their lost princess—a brilliant way to meet girls according to our twenty-something minds. We needed a catchy name that sounded ethnic. The Tortuga Twins fit all that.

At the time there was an independent comic book known as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (you might have heard of it). Tortuga means turtle in Spanish. As a play on words, and to pay homage to our geekdom, Jef took the name Donatello (he later changed it to D’Angelo), while I took Raphael. Besides, it began with an “R.” I have a fondness for “Rs.” Go figure.

To mix things up even more, if you ever happen to find a lost cell phone of mine, you’ll see the name Riki Tortuga on it. That’s how I’m known by most on the renaissance festival circuit. Again, go figure.

What does all this have to do with Mordant? Don’t worry, that’s next.

In 2003, I reconnected with my birth mother, Mary Mahon (her maiden name). While spending time with her—first in Florida, then in Spain—I asked her what name she would have given me. Being British of Irish descent, it would have been a doosie. John Edward Antony Noel Mordant Mahon, after her late brother. Wow.

As I was the only of her children that she had contact with—there is another that I know of—she asked that I do something to carry on the family name. Thus R. Mordant Mahon was born. I especially like it because “Mordant” is a reagent used on color in the dyeing process (“it makes things stick” as a friend of mine recently pointed out). Also, in literature, it is “a biting reply.” Not too shabby for a writer if I do say so myself.

There you have it. Call me Mordant. Some because I really like the name even if it doesn’t begin with an “R.” Some because as I brand it into the public consciousness, that’s how they’ll know me. But mostly, and honestly, because it pleases me dear mum.

R. Mordant Mahon

As An Addendum
Okay…to avoid FURTHER confusion – call me Mordant HERE. And when I’m out doing Mordanty things. It is my author name, but should not become a stumbling block for my old friends. The “R” in R. Mordant Mahon is for Riki after all. =)

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28May

Open The Door For Her

Posted by: R. Mordant Mahon Categories: Blog Dating Relationships
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We live in a society that vacillates between whether or not it is okay for men behave as gentlemen and women to act and expect to be treated like ladies.  In her book Miss Manners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, Judith Martin says “Miss Manners has a puzzling time trying to decide why one courtesy is ‘demeaning’ and another is a ‘gesture of respect,’ and therefore would like to forget the entire symbolic aspect of this ritual. . . .  We agree that the opening and shutting of car doors will not be a test of character or physical strength. . . .”

Get into the practice of opening the car door for her—even if she’s driving.  Not just for her in specific, but all hers.  By doing so, you will set yourself apart—from all other sons, suitors, and spouses.  Walk over to her door and open it for her.  Hold it open until she gets in, and then close it.  Important Safety Tip:  Wait until she’s all the way in to close the door.  (You lose major cool points for catching her or any part of her outfit in the car door.)

If you want to stand out from the rest of your ilk, then make the strong choice to show courtesy—at least in this one aspect.  Make this a part of your regular routine.  It’s not sexist; it’s polite.  Open the door for any woman with which you’re riding.  Do it in spite of strange looks.  Do it no matter how many times she tells you it’s not necessary.  Do it until it feels weird not to.

It doesn’t matter who you are or what walk of life you claim as your own.  From Ivy Leaguer to Inner City Gangsta, you will set yourself at the front of the pack by performing this small courtesy.  You will be remembered.  First as that guy, then as that boyfriend, and then as that husband by all her friends.  If you’re not looking for a mate, then you are that fellow.  No matter what, you’ll be the guy with that special something.  At the end of the day, not a bad way to be remembered.

R. Mordant Mahon

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28May

Why Real Women Drink Straight Tequila (in response to my book title)

Posted by: R. Mordant Mahon Categories: Blog Dating Mordant World Relationships Writing
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The question keeps coming up: Why do real women drink straight tequila?  The easy answer is “um…well…um…”  Actually, that’s the thing that came to mind when my editor posed this question in preparation for my first interview.  Funny now.  Not so funny then.

Tequila is an opiate, a party-hearty painkiller for the working class stiff in all of us.  Sure, you can pretty it up a bit by drinking the high-end brands or slinging it to and from crystal containers…but in the end, it’s still tequila.  Gut-wrenching, mind-numbing, eye-crossing tequila.  So, why would a woman, real or otherwise, want to throw a splash of this vile nectar past her luscious lips?

Real women drink straight tequila because it makes a statement.  It declares an attitude of someone willing to roll up her sleeves and dig into the mud of whatever needs to get the job done.  She will bleed, she will sweat, she will slog on as the tears stream down her dirt-caked face until whatever is keeping her from what she desires—to have, to be—is out of her fervently feminine way.

In life, in love—wherever she may roam, a real woman drinks straight tequila because she has fought hard to get where she is and be who she is.  From child rearing to running corporations, to placing the necessary bandage on our skinned hearts and knees—do not doubt the power of a woman.  She has earned the right to do whatever she damned well pleases.

R. Mordant Mahon

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28May

Dating As Couples – Why Do It?

Posted by: R. Mordant Mahon Categories: Blog Dating Relationships
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Every time I bring up the subject of dating to my married and coupled friends, I get blank stares and we’re-out-of-that-game attitude.  Dating is something you should do your entire life.  In other words, it’s not just for singles any more.

A relationship is a living, breathing organism – not unlike a newborn that you must nurture and feed.  You can’t just leave it alone and hope for the best.  If you want your most intimate relationship to bring the best that life has to offer, you have to put in some time and effort.  In fact, you should spend more care cultivating your relationship than you did catching this “big fish” in the first place.  Oh yes, and it should be fun.  This is where Dating comes in – even in the bonds of a relationship.

Have dinner, take a stroll on a hot summer night, picnic in the park – anything as long as it’s the both of you, spending time together.  Don’t let anything get in the way of Date Night.  Nothing is more important than the relationship you will be creating by spending quality time reaching out to the person you call your most Intimate.

Go out on a date with your loved one – your spouse, your fiancé, your boyfriend/girlfriend.  It doesn’t matter what point you’re at in your relationship, you should date.  Intimacy happens when you spend a quantity of time in your love one’s company.  The level of intimacy depends on the quality of that time spent.

R. Mordant Mahon

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28May

Welcome To My Mordant World

Posted by: R. Mordant Mahon Categories: Blog Mordant World Writing
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Welcome to my Mordant World.  I’ve been talking with various friends of mine about creating and continuing a blog.  This to promote various aspects of my life—mostly the creative parts.  After hemming and hawing, then not doing much about it, I figured I might as well put something down, thus making ready for that auspicious moment when I actually do put an official blog together.

For those of you who don’t know, I am a man of many hats.  My Facebook & Twitter bios read:

Globetrotting Renaissance Man…Actor, Author, Entrepreneur…Universal Healing Tao Instructor, Quantum Manifestations Life Coach…Tortuga Twin.

This pretty much says it all.  I crisscross the United States, performing comedic stage shows at various festivals—mostly of the renaissance variety.  It is true that I am a world traveler.  I was born in Karachi, Pakistan in the 60’s.  Next came the Philippines and Laos during the Viet Nam War before settling down in Tarpon Springs, Florida.  All of this before entering third grade.  As an adult, I’ve hit Europe, Asia, Mexico, and Canada.  Boy, are my arms tired.

I am a hopeful on-camera actor.  I say “hopeful” because I haven’t gone so far as to get an agent yet (again at the time of this writing), and only worked on independent and student films—none of them paying gigs.  It doesn’t sound very hopeful, but I am.  You’ll have to take me at my word on this one.  I’ll do my best to prove it to you later.

I have co-authored a dating/relationship self-help book titled Why Real Women Drink Straight Tequila—The Tao of Intimacy.  Currently, I am working on a fantasy novel as well as yet another self-helpy type book.  I’m hopeful about these, too.

I am a Universal Healing Tao certified Instructor, trained under Grandmaster Mantak Chia at Tao Garden in Chiang Mai, Thailand.  Using various methods of Chi Kung meditation, I guide others in learning how to transform negative aspects of their energy and live a life of positive vitality.  Sounds a little woo-woo I know, but it works for me.

Though writing this illustrious, long-winded blog, I haven’t officially set anything up yet.  I’ve been thinking WordPress, but good friend and fellow writer Allison said she likes Blogger.  I should probably ask Marrus what she uses, as she is a big fan of blogging to inform, promote, and entertain (not necessarily in that order).  I guess you could say I’m hopeful about blogging, too.  We’ll see.

Sooo…if there were a theme to my wannabe blog, it would have to be…have hope.  I’m not talking about the kind of hope where you sit back and wish for good things to happen to you.  No, I’m a firm believer in imagining what you can do, then doing something about it.  Yes, you should dream dreams.  These dreams will become the blueprints for your fantastic life if you let them.  But, you can’t stop there.  Not if you want to succeed.  You have to visualize your success, seeing it in your mind’s eye and believing it can happen.  Then comes the work part.  The setting down tangible goals, then getting off your butt and knocking them out one by one part.  Big steps or baby steps, it doesn’t matter.  It’s the forward momentum that counts.

So, that’s the gist of this first blog.  Dream your dreams and take the steps necessary to see them to fruition.  Above all, have hope.  It will keep you going through the character-building rough spots.  Don’t worry; I’m not going to Pollyanna my way through everything I write.  I’ll share some of my trials, conflicts, and failures.  Besides, they’re all a part of this growing process, and extremely necessary if we want to develop into the kind of people we dream about becoming.

R. Mordant Mahon

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