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31Dec

How Bad Do You Want It!? ~Part the Second~

Posted by: R. Mordant Mahon Categories: Blog Comfort Zone Goals
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The Following is the second half of a very long blarticle.  The first half can be found at: http://www.mordantworld.com/how-bad-do-you-want-it-part-the-first.html.  If you haven’t already done it, I suggest you read “How Bad Do You Want It!?  ~Part the First~” first.  Enjoy!

How Bad Do You Want It! ~Part the Second~

How Bad Do You Want It! ~Part the Second~

First things first—decide on, then commit to, this “It” that you want.  I’m sure you already know what it is.  It’s been swimming around in the deep-end of your brain for quite a while now.  If you’re not sure, then ask yourself this question:  if you could Be, Do, Have anything you want….  If you had all the talent, looks, money, smarts, chutzpah—if you had whatever it took and you knew you would be a big success, what would you be?  Answer that and you have your dream, that thing you are truly passionate about, set out in front of you.  Now you know.  And, now it’s time to commit (that’s right—the “C” word) to doing something about it.  Now it’s time to turn your dream into a goal.

This is where your fantasy becomes a reality.

Next, you will begin researching, then plotting out the steps that will take you on this collision course with your future.  Remember, a dream without specific attainable steps is just that—a dream.  It’s those action steps that turn your wanna-be fantasy into something real—a goal.  That’s what is going to take you to the next level.

So, first you set your beacon, your goal, the destination on your dream-catching map.  Then, research what it’s going to take to get you to where you want to go…or at least the next step.  You can also try starting from your goal, then working your way backward, laying out each of the steps until you arrive at today.  I.e., first you take your goal, before that you _(actionable step)_, before that you _(actionable step)_, and so on, leading all the way back to where you are now.  This is called “The Merlin Method.”

No matter how you do it, you’ll have your actionable steps leading to your now attainable goal.  Now there’s only one thing left for you to do, and that is really do it.  Take those steps, one at a time if necessary, more if possible.  But, no matter what, the only way you’re going to obtain your goal is if you DO YOUR STEPS.  If you’re able to move forward with no problem—smooth sailing.  If not, then you’ve probably got something blocking your way.  This will certainly give you the opportunity to shine a light on whatever may stand in the way of you achieving your goal(s).  Especially if that “thing” is Y-O-U.  (A hard pill, I know, but swallow it down and let’s move on.)

Now that you’ve decided to take a look at what is standing in your way, what are you going to do about it?  Basically, “how bad do you want it!?”  More than: TV, video games, time off from work, time out with your friends, Disneyland, Disney World, the big game, the Super Bowl, every must-see movie, books, blogs, Facebook, YouTube, _(your distraction here)_, the list is never-ending.  What are you willing to sacrifice so that your dream may become a reality?  If this really is your dream, you goal, your passion, then it shouldn’t be too difficult to drop everything else in pursuit of this one very important thing, right?

Yeah, you’d think that, wouldn’t you?

If that were the case, then people would be achieving their goals and attaining their dreams every day.  Hell, you’d be already halfway there yourself.  But, you’re not, are you?  Chances are if you’ve taken the time to read this far into this blarticle, then you’re looking for a little help in the whole in-pursuit-of-your-dreams area.  A lot of the problem is that we as people are not always that focused and we’re easily distracted.  At the end of an oh-so hard day, who wants to knock out a couple more hours in front to a computer, just to pursue something that may never come to fruition anyway?

Successful people, that’s who.

If you want to be successful at any level with this thing, this “It” you say you “want to be when you grow up,” then eventually you’re going to have to log in some serious time and effort.  But, for now, here at the beginning, I think you might begin with a couple to a few hours a week of trading your TV time in for something you keep saying is more important to you.

But, I don’t have enough time left in the week, you say.  I’m tired when I get home from work, you whine.  I don’t want to miss my television programs—don’t even get me started with this one!  Let’s look at it this way…how much time do you actually put in as you trek towards your goal?  If there’s 168 hours in a week (there are).  And, you take 56 out for sleep (provided you get eight hours of sleep every day of the week) and 40 hours for the J-O-B.  That leaves you with roughly 72 hours to devote to doing something dream dedicated.  That’s three full 24-hour days.  Do you think you might be able to squeeze in four to five hours for the week?  How about an hour or two a day?  One hour?  Do you think you could set aside one hour a day for working on becoming this thing you say you’d most want to be in life?

Does this put things in perspective for you?

So, we’re back to the original question, how bad do you want it!!  Do you really want to Do, Be, Have this incredible “It”?  Or are you going to sit back, relax, grab the clicker and continue watching your life pass you by as you rev the engine to 15 mph, burning out down that Mediocre Highway?  As always, the choice…the decision is up to you.  And, so is the fight.  You’re going to have to combat yourself of all people, slogging your way through your laziness, self-doubt, and lame limiting-belief system to get to a Bigger, Badder, Better, More level of your Life.  But…the fight is worth it.  It will change you, for the better—into the type of person you need to be to accomplish all you say you desire and Be, Do, Have the heretofore elusive “It.”  What do you say—wanna give it a go?  It’s not that hard once you get started.

Go ahead…show the world, and yourself, how bad you want it.

~R. Mordant Mahon~

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23Dec

How Bad Do You Want It!? ~Part the First~

Posted by: R. Mordant Mahon Categories: Blog Goals
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How Bad Do You Want It! ~Part the First~

How Bad Do You Want It! ~Part the First~

How badly do you want it?

Really, how bad?

By “it” I mean that dream you keep talking about.  That goal you keep putting off or never have enough time to pursue.  That special “it” you’ve waited forever to sink your teeth into, taking a firm bite out of the best this life could offer you.  How badly to you want to flying scissors kick it to the ground, hogtie it with rope you braided from your hopes & visions about your wanna-be life, and make it your bitch?

Really, how bad?

Bad enough to give up a little TV?  Or your favorite video game?  Or time with your friends?  How badly do you want this thing you say you want?  This pie-in-the-sky pipedream you know you’ll never do anything about, but you swear that you’ll get to it soon….  Tomorrow….  Someday.

Nike has a saying:

“Yesterday you said tomorrow.”

The problem is, as we all know, tomorrow never comes.  All you ever have is today.  Today to pay your bills.  Today to raise your kids.  Today to take that vacation.  Today to become a writer, an artist, a _(fill in the blank)_.  Today to Become.  They say Time is a thief.  But, so is apathy.  And, so is complacency.  If you do not stoke that fire burning in your belly, feed that desire yearning to create your destiny, then someday—maybe even tomorrow—you will suffer the “joy” of regret at never having accomplished, hell, maybe never even having attempted to Do, Be, Have that “It” you’ve always wanted.

Sucks, doesn’t it?

Believe me when I tell you that you are not alone.  Nope, not by a longshot.  I, too, suffer from the same affliction you do.  That’s right, sometimes life is so good enough that I don’t feel the need to push it further.  I mean, why would I?  I am comfortable right where I’m at.  I do have it pretty good after all.  Why would I push to go anywhere that might take me away from here?  Especially when it means I will have to cross over into that dark and foreboding place known as Outside My Comfort Zone.  Especially when it means I might have to work to get where I want to go and, most likely, work very hard at this thing I’m just a-playin’ with now.

Yuck!

Why?  Because what lies beyond this velvet trap is everything I say I want out of life.  Unless I’m just fooling myself, adventure and glory are there….  As well as self-respect and a deep sense of accomplishment.  Not altruistic enough for you?  How about the ability to better help others and teach them to help themselves?  Will that satisfy your yearning to make a difference in this world?  Whatever your personal “It” is, you’re going to have to do more than hope and dream, plot and plan to achieve it.

Because, despite expressions to the contrary, “It” doesn’t just happen.

So, what are you going to do about it?  What, in fact can you do about it?  You still only have the same amount of time you were stuck with at the beginning of this blarticle.  Less, actually.  Is there anything you can do to put yourself back on the fast track to achieving your dream?

Yes, of course there is.

First you have to realize that, not only can you do something, but it’s your responsibility.

What!?

You heard me.  Ultimately, it all falls on you—the success, the failure, the mediocrity of being stuck somewhere in the middle—that’s all on you, baby.  But, don’t worry; that’s the good news.

Again…what!?

No foolin’—this is the good part.  The fact that you are the person responsible for your situation in this life is a good thing.  In fact, it’s probably the best thing you’ve read thus far.

I know it’s the most important.

Once you take full responsibility for everything that’s going on, you begin to realize that you can effect a change.  You can make a difference in your own life.  Wouldn’t you rather have it that way, than to have to sit around and wait for some knight in shining armor to come to your rescue?  Well, guess what.  You’re your own knight in shining armor.  It’s up to you to come and save the day.

Daunting, huh?  Don’t worry; it gets better.

What does all this have to do with “how bad do you want it!?”  Everything.  It is up to you to motivate yourself beyond the dreaming stage.  You are the person who has to create goals, set achievable baby steps, begin moving forward and adjust as you go.  “How bad do you want it!?” means just that.  How much more than mere lip service are you willing to give in order to Be, Do, Have this “It” you say you want?

Time is the Dream Killer.

If you think you don’t have enough time to get everything you’d like to accomplish off the backburner and onto your plate, you’re absolutely right!

What!?

You heard me…you are correct-o-mundo.  There will never be enough time for you to write that book, get that doctorate, learn to play the guitar, pursue that singing career, become a big brother, see the world.  Never, never, never…and I mean NEVER!

Then, why bother?

Because it can be done, but you have to do it.  You have to create the necessary space in your life for those things you want to accomplish (or, at least, say you want to accomplish).  You’re going to have to shift things around.  You might even (not might, really—probably) have to get up early/stay up late in order to move forward, step by step, toward your goals.  There will be sacrifices.  Those self-same sacrifices I mentioned earlier in the blarticle.  This, specifically, is what “how bad do you want it!?” is referring to.  Do you want it more that your TV, your video games, your nights out with friends?  Are you worthy of these dreams you are laying claim to?  If not, then perhaps they’re not worthy of you.

How Bad Do You Want It! ~Part the First~Something to think about, isn’t it?

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3Dec

Think Big-Grrr!

Posted by: R. Mordant Mahon Categories: Blog
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Think Big-Grrr!

Think Big-Grrr!

That’s right—it’s time to Think Big-Grrr!  Why is it that we are always limiting ourselves?  We limit everything from our capabilities (what we can do) to our possibilities (who we can become).  Think about it.  If you thought you were capable of accomplishing so much more, that nothing could stop you, let alone stand in your way, wouldn’t you do a whole lot more with your life?  Wouldn’t you be a lot more?  Or are you truly happy with putting in your 40 hours at the J-O-B and kickin’ back weekends with your peeps, pallies, and posse?  Because if that’s enough for you—and there’s nothing wrong with that being your whole world—you haven’t quite grasped the concept of Thinking Big.  Grrr!

When you open up your mind to the possibilities of what you might could do if you really wanted to, if you knew what you could do and you went out and did it, then you might just conquer the world…or at least your neighborhood’s worth of it.  (And, if you were really full of “it,” you might even convince yourself that you could get away with a run on sentence or two like that last one.  FYI: I say do it—grammar be damned!)

Perhaps you have thought about it.  Even just a weensy bit.  Way back in the back alleys of your mind, where only your Some-Day-I’ll-Do-This Ideas and your I’ve-Still-Got-Plenty-of-Time Thoughts still run free in your Delusions-of-Grandeur Garden.  And maybe it scares you a little.  Not consciously.  Not really.  To tell others, and especially your Self, that you are not interested in being the best you possible is to admit that, in some way, you are lacking.  That you don’t think you deserve the best.  Or that you are too lazy to Just Do It!  And, that’s not acceptable, is it.  (Don’t answer that—it’s not a question, but a rhetorical statement we both already know the answer to.)

I think you’re beginning to understand why I put the “Grrr!” in “Think Big-Grrr!”  You should be pissed off.  At yourself, at me—either way, I don’t care—but, get mad damn it!  Then set out to prove me wrong.  Yeah, that’ll learn me!  I’m beginning to see snatches of my own greatness…but only for a moment, and then they’re gone.  I’m getting a little pissed off my damn self.  Grrr!

Now that you’ve determined you’re not all that happy with the life you’re handing yourself—yes, you’re responsible for the life you live, but that means you can do something about it any time you want—whatever shall you do?

Let’s face it, the problem here lies within.  You have a habit of getting in your own way.  Not just you—me, too.  Actually it’s kind of an epidemic really.  We all suffer Getting-In-Our-Own-Way-And-Tripping-Ourselves-Up-itis.  I say “suffer” and not “suffer from” because we put up with this affliction.  We endure it.  You’re not a victim here—none of us are.  You make your choices based on how much you really want to move forward…and what you’re willing to suffer for it.  Sometimes, especially when the desire to stay comfortable outweighs your yearning for greatness, it’s easier to cling to complacency and hold tight to a mediocre life.  Not always.  There are moments of accomplishment.  Bursts of growth and forward momentum.  Spasms of genius.  Just enough to keep you content at whatever level of awesome you’re currently occupying.  Complacency is a vile temptress.  Like the Sirens from Homer’s Odyssey, she lures you away from your potential greatness with a song, a dance, and a shake of her tantalizing hips—all this experienced via your fave TV shows, viewed from the edge of your oh-so comfy couch.  Yeah, Complacency’s a bitch alright.  And, yet we can’t seem to leave go of her, that couch, and those drama-juicy television stories.

The truth of the matter is you can.  The power to step forward into a fantastic life lies within you.  It always has and it always will!  Sure, you may have to baby step your way, one foot in front of the other at a time, but you’ll get there.  Just as long as you take those first steps and keep moving forward after that.  The hardest part about working out is getting into the gym.  It’s not the weights, heavy though they may be; it’s not your workload, full to bursting though it may be.  It’s your willingness to get up off your butt, off the couch, away from the computer, drive those strenuous 10-15 minutes to the gym, and walk your I’ve-got-so-much-more-other-stuff-to-do whiny ass through the door.  I know—I’m that guy, too!  And, as with you, the answer to this dilemma is up to me!

The same can be said for all those big dreams you have.  Just as Kris Kringle sung to the Winter Warlock in the 1970 Rankin/Bass Christmas special Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town, you have to “Put one foot in front of the other, and soon you’ll be walking ‘cross the floor.  Put one foot in front of the other, and soon you’ll be walking out the door.”  The most difficult part about leveling up your life is Thinking Big-Grrr, Believing You Can Do It, and then Showing Up.  Mix those in with a little perseverance, and soon you’ll be doing a whole lot more than “walking ‘cross the floor.”

To sum up, the “Grrr” in Think Big-Grrr is the attitude you need to have when you find yourself settling for less.  I won’t say “less than you deserve” because, when you settle, you get what you deserve.  It works the other way around, too.  If you don’t settle.  If you think Bigger, Badder, Better, More—Outrageously even…if you’re willing to do that…and believe in yourself enough to put one foot in front of the other and persevere long enough, you will get exactly what you deserve.  And, by that time, you’ll have leveled up your life and grown into the type of person who deserves whatever they set their mind, heart, and hands to.  That’s what you’ll get for Thinking Big-Grrr!

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22Aug

Down With O.P.P. (Other People’s Perceptions)?

Posted by: R. Mordant Mahon Categories: Blog Life Lessons
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Down With O.P.P. (Other People’s Perceptions)?

Down With O.P.P. (Other People’s Perceptions)?

You down with O.P.P?

Yeah, you know me!

You down with O.P.P?

Yeah, you know me!

All of us have come face to face with family & friends who do not agree with, and quite often do not understand, what we are doing and what we are about.  They are sure what you are doing is wrong and you will only wind up hurting yourself, others, and (even worse) them!  Breaking through your defenses with knowing smiles and furrowed brows, they hide behind their super-friend guise of concern and offer up an unending stream of advice.  When this fails to talk sense into you, their “friendly” advice becomes more pronounced… aggressive… sometimes, even threatening.

How can you be so blind?!

Can’t you see what you’re doing—how you’re hurting yourself and everyone around you?

How can you be so selfish?!

You Bastard!

Sound familiar?  It does to me—even the “bastard” part.  (Okay, maybe I’m paraphrasing… taking poetic license and being a tad overdramatic.  But, that’s how it sounds in my head.)  All the high dramatics aside, I’m here to tell you…

“It’s none of your business what other people think of you.”

(In “quotation marks” because many others have said this before—“I stand on the shoulders of giants.”)

It is human nature to want to keep the status quo.  Home & office, friends & family—there is a hierarchy, a pecking order if you will that most people strive to keep.  Office politics and corporate hierarchy often dictate that their denizens jockey for position like nobility at court.  The same can be said of your friend and family social structures.  No matter where you are in life, each group you come in contact with has its Alpha, its Beta, and even its Psi & Omega.

Then you come along….

With your highfalutin ideas about changing your life for the better.  It’s not “good.”  It’s not “normal.”  Others certainly don’t want you altering things… especially if this means they’ll be moving down a few rungs on the social ladder.

Is this true?

Some yes.

Am I telling you this so you can be pissed off at the injustice of it all?

Mostly no.

Mostly I’m telling you so you will understand why it happens, recognize it when it happens.  It doesn’t affect you.  At least, it doesn’t have to.  Why?  Because you see it coming and you can steel your self-esteem against the onslaught of their crippling barbs & jeers?

No.  Well… some, but mostly no.

It doesn’t affect you because…

“It’s none of your business what other people think of you.”  Still.

There is a story I’ve heard about crabs in a bucket.  It seems you only have to put a lid over the bucket when you have caught only the first one.  After that, when you have more crabs in the bucket, they do all the work.  Even though safety, freedom, and a much longer lifespan reside on the outside, the remaining crabs pull the would-be escapee back down to their level.

To the bucket.

To their doom.

It is human nature to do the same thing…mostly without the impending doom.  Mostly.  You see, this behavior has spelled the death of many a dream.  Pull them down enough and creative types will finally come to their senses, leaving go of an inspiration that “probably” wouldn’t go anywhere anyway.  A crushed spirit can lead to a safe & secure J-O-B.

Remember, others forcing their Perceptions and Opinions on you = Peer Pressure.  This was a big pain in the butt during high school & college.  It’s time to begin growing past this now.

Are people actually holding you back?  Physically?  Really?!  Or could it be that you value their opinions over yours?  You’re worried about what other people might think, so you buckle under the perceived “pressure.”  You hold your tongue instead of offering your brilliant suggestion at the board meeting.  One week later, you watch Johnston submitting your idea, receiving all the praise.

Johnston.

That idea-stealing, dream-crushing glory thief.

He kept you back.  He held you down.  When you shared your idea with him he physically… did nothing.  Other than physically open his mouth, suggesting your idea “outlandish.”  You did the rest.  Worried about what your coworkers might think, you kept your mouth shut.

You did it.

You-you-you!

Instead of worrying about what anybody else thought, Johnston stuck his neck out and offered up your idea.  Sure, he’s not going to win Team Player of the Year, but who cares?!  He’s on his way up & out of the bucket and you’re not.

Next time you have another brilliant idea (don’t worry, you will; you have them all the time), speak up.  Whether it’s about your job, some creative spark, or a dream you just can’t quit—make your move.

Don’t worry about what others think.

Why should you?  They’re not worried about you.  Not really.

People are too enmeshed in their own lead role to worry about your bit part in their life.  Everybody’s got their own stuff going on.  Their world, and opinion of you, is colored by that.  It’s not personal.  Remember, everyone is hip deep in their own sheep sugar and the smell is why they’re making that funny face—not you.

But, what if they’re right… and you’re not!?

Life is a game, meant to be played—an experiment where you try new things.  Often you will fall flat on your face…and that’s okay—great even!  This is how we learn how to do this thing called Life.  As long as you’re not hurting yourself or others, muck things up a bit.  Take chances.  Ready, fire, then aim as you go.  It’s okay—you’re doing fine!

Only you can decide what your life is about—what’s important, what’s not.  At the end of the day, Y-O-U are responsible for your own experiences.  That means you can make mistakes and….

You can fix them!

These are your lessons.  You have to learn them, to go through “the fire” sometimes in order to Level Up Your Life.  When it comes to your life, you are responsible—yours is the opinion that matters.  I’m not going to tell you that everything will always work out the way you want.  In fact, often, when you get what you want, it winds up not looking anything like you thought it might.  Is this some cruel cosmic joke?

No.  Maybe.  Sure.  Who cares!

Whatever happens, isn’t it better to follow your passion?  To attempt even a few of your “crazy” ideas?  Rather than suffer a life of “quiet desperation”?  You might surprise yourself.  You will fall flat on your face…a lot.  But, that’s okay.  That’s why you’re here.  To run and fall and skin your knees… and create a great life for yourself.

So, what do you say?

You down with O.P.P.?

No way, not me!

You down with O.P.P.?

No way, not me!

You know what?  Me neither.

“I took the road less traveled, and it has made all the difference.”

~Robert Frost~

For more on this topic, check out the podcast >>TOSOL #55 – Down With O.P.P. (Other People’s Perceptions)? <<

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31May

Put Love 1st

Posted by: R. Mordant Mahon Categories: Blog Dating Relationships
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Put love first.  When you concentrate on your job, you succeed.  When you invest time learning about a career skill, your favorite sports team, even more about your friends, you become an expert in those fields.  What about the Arena of Love?  Don’t you think you should spend more time and effort in that area?  You do want a fabulous love life…don’t you?  When it comes to your relationship, are you the student, reluctant to crack your textbooks…or the connoisseur?

It’s no secret, your relationship is not something you can set & forget, just “wishing” for the best.  You have to do something about it, growing the intimacy in your life…even when you’re not in the mood.  I’m not saying you should look at this like work.  Love isn’t a chore…though sometimes it may feel that way.  Have fun with cultivating deeper intimacy in your life.  Treat it like a new fascination, looking for opportunities to get back to romantic playtime.  The feelings will follow, especially when you and your partner begin to turn up the steam.

When you put love first, you concentrate on it, you focus on it.  You’re putting God and the Universe, as well as yourself and your partner on notice that you’re serious about having intimacy in your life.  Begin doting on your relationship as you would a favorite hobby.  Have a weekly Date Night, where you and your mate get back to your romantic roots.  Read up on the latest regarding intimacy, relationships, and—yummy—sex!  Create a Dream Board with your partner, pasting pictures of what you want your relationship to look like on a board suitable for framing.  Do whatever voodoo you need do, but…

Put—Love—First!

R. Mordant Mahon

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28May

Call Me Mordant

Posted by: R. Mordant Mahon Categories: Blog Mordant World
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There’s been some confusion of late, as to what you should call me. You’ve seen or heard me throw out the names “Mordant,” and “Raphael,” and “Riki”—and perhaps a couple others tossed here and there into the mix. What’s up with that?! What should you call me and where do all these names come from anyway? I’m a little public for the Witness Protection Program, so it’s not that. Probably. Perhaps I’m just eccentric (read: weird), and like the thought of a ton of pseudonyms. You know…having so many people in my head that I don’t ever feel alone. But, that would be just a little too whack-a-doodle, don’t you think? The voices in my head agree with me, so it must be true.

I was adopted at birth and given the name Ronald Richard Robinson. My family goes by their middle names, and that’s where Riki comes in—from Richard. (Much better than the other nickname I could have gotten from Richard, believe you me.) It’s always been Riki and it’s always been spelled the way it is. In my teens, I tried to shorten it to Rik, but my mother said, “No! You’re name’s Riki.” And so, Riki it is.

Until I became a Tortuga Twin.

In 1987, I co-founded a comedy troupe. Known mostly as a trio (there are currently six of us on the roster), but back then we were a duo. We were portraying twin gypsy brothers looking for their lost princess—a brilliant way to meet girls according to our twenty-something minds. We needed a catchy name that sounded ethnic. The Tortuga Twins fit all that.

At the time there was an independent comic book known as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (you might have heard of it). Tortuga means turtle in Spanish. As a play on words, and to pay homage to our geekdom, Jef took the name Donatello (he later changed it to D’Angelo), while I took Raphael. Besides, it began with an “R.” I have a fondness for “Rs.” Go figure.

To mix things up even more, if you ever happen to find a lost cell phone of mine, you’ll see the name Riki Tortuga on it. That’s how I’m known by most on the renaissance festival circuit. Again, go figure.

What does all this have to do with Mordant? Don’t worry, that’s next.

In 2003, I reconnected with my birth mother, Mary Mahon (her maiden name). While spending time with her—first in Florida, then in Spain—I asked her what name she would have given me. Being British of Irish descent, it would have been a doosie. John Edward Antony Noel Mordant Mahon, after her late brother. Wow.

As I was the only of her children that she had contact with—there is another that I know of—she asked that I do something to carry on the family name. Thus R. Mordant Mahon was born. I especially like it because “Mordant” is a reagent used on color in the dyeing process (“it makes things stick” as a friend of mine recently pointed out). Also, in literature, it is “a biting reply.” Not too shabby for a writer if I do say so myself.

There you have it. Call me Mordant. Some because I really like the name even if it doesn’t begin with an “R.” Some because as I brand it into the public consciousness, that’s how they’ll know me. But mostly, and honestly, because it pleases me dear mum.

R. Mordant Mahon

As An Addendum
Okay…to avoid FURTHER confusion – call me Mordant HERE. And when I’m out doing Mordanty things. It is my author name, but should not become a stumbling block for my old friends. The “R” in R. Mordant Mahon is for Riki after all. =)

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28May

Open The Door For Her

Posted by: R. Mordant Mahon Categories: Blog Dating Relationships
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We live in a society that vacillates between whether or not it is okay for men behave as gentlemen and women to act and expect to be treated like ladies.  In her book Miss Manners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, Judith Martin says “Miss Manners has a puzzling time trying to decide why one courtesy is ‘demeaning’ and another is a ‘gesture of respect,’ and therefore would like to forget the entire symbolic aspect of this ritual. . . .  We agree that the opening and shutting of car doors will not be a test of character or physical strength. . . .”

Get into the practice of opening the car door for her—even if she’s driving.  Not just for her in specific, but all hers.  By doing so, you will set yourself apart—from all other sons, suitors, and spouses.  Walk over to her door and open it for her.  Hold it open until she gets in, and then close it.  Important Safety Tip:  Wait until she’s all the way in to close the door.  (You lose major cool points for catching her or any part of her outfit in the car door.)

If you want to stand out from the rest of your ilk, then make the strong choice to show courtesy—at least in this one aspect.  Make this a part of your regular routine.  It’s not sexist; it’s polite.  Open the door for any woman with which you’re riding.  Do it in spite of strange looks.  Do it no matter how many times she tells you it’s not necessary.  Do it until it feels weird not to.

It doesn’t matter who you are or what walk of life you claim as your own.  From Ivy Leaguer to Inner City Gangsta, you will set yourself at the front of the pack by performing this small courtesy.  You will be remembered.  First as that guy, then as that boyfriend, and then as that husband by all her friends.  If you’re not looking for a mate, then you are that fellow.  No matter what, you’ll be the guy with that special something.  At the end of the day, not a bad way to be remembered.

R. Mordant Mahon

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28May

Why Real Women Drink Straight Tequila (in response to my book title)

Posted by: R. Mordant Mahon Categories: Blog Dating Mordant World Relationships Writing
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The question keeps coming up: Why do real women drink straight tequila?  The easy answer is “um…well…um…”  Actually, that’s the thing that came to mind when my editor posed this question in preparation for my first interview.  Funny now.  Not so funny then.

Tequila is an opiate, a party-hearty painkiller for the working class stiff in all of us.  Sure, you can pretty it up a bit by drinking the high-end brands or slinging it to and from crystal containers…but in the end, it’s still tequila.  Gut-wrenching, mind-numbing, eye-crossing tequila.  So, why would a woman, real or otherwise, want to throw a splash of this vile nectar past her luscious lips?

Real women drink straight tequila because it makes a statement.  It declares an attitude of someone willing to roll up her sleeves and dig into the mud of whatever needs to get the job done.  She will bleed, she will sweat, she will slog on as the tears stream down her dirt-caked face until whatever is keeping her from what she desires—to have, to be—is out of her fervently feminine way.

In life, in love—wherever she may roam, a real woman drinks straight tequila because she has fought hard to get where she is and be who she is.  From child rearing to running corporations, to placing the necessary bandage on our skinned hearts and knees—do not doubt the power of a woman.  She has earned the right to do whatever she damned well pleases.

R. Mordant Mahon

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